Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He shit in the fireplace
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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