I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
