If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
