he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
