What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
