I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
