No awkward lesbian experiences without me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
