Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
