For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
