You're completely useless in the revolution.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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