i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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