Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
