i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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