i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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