I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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