I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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