Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
