well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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