ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
