girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
