I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
