carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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