I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
