I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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