It's just like the Real World with babies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
