and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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