Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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