I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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