I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
