You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
