yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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