the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
