Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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