Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
