why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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