i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My cat gives me a boner
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
