I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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