Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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