Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
