Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
