i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
