Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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