whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
