just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
