i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
