You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
