I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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