i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
