so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
