We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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