normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
