Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
