Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
